But I am just sooo tired.

First off, I have a child that is FOUR weeks old!! FOUR!  How did that happen so fast!!She is the coolest little person ever but dang she is a handful.  I now understand what everyone has said about being so exhausted. It’s a weird concept because during the day I can look like a semi-normal human if I need to, but I feel like I have gotten hit by a bus every day.

I am not sure what asshole made up the "sleep when the baby sleeps" rule, but they are stupid. If I did that then what magic fairy is going to show up and do the laundry or the dishes? Yeah, sleep when the baby sleeps-Whatever. Here are some of the funny things that have happened because (A) we have a baby and (B) we wake up every 3 hours and are tired:

Upon getting out of the shower, I stood blankly staring at the wall and thought “Did I even use soap?” Damnit…back in the shower.

“When the heck was the last time the dog ate or went outside?” 

”I totally forgot we even had a dog”

During a 3 am feeding, poor little lady had milk squirted in her face for an extended period of time because I had closed my eyes and didn’t realize it until it started gushing all over my hand. She was soaked. Of course I had to laugh and wanted to take a picture (too bad it was too dark) before grabbing a burp cloth. Sorry Aubs.

When my sister Carrie was visiting, she almost used hemorrhoid cream as toothpaste. LOL yessssss!!! I like to think that she was exhausted too…she does have a 10 year old and I have heard this feeling doesnt go away. I should probably move that.

Two nights ago she was fussing and I started rocking her bassinet while still lying in bed with my eyes closed. She quieted down after 10 minutes. I woke up in a panic (5 minutes later Thank God) shaking Levi and asking him if he fed her, or if I fed her. I realized neither of us fed her after a quick check of my rock hard boobs. Sorry that you were hungry and sleep won L

sleep when I sleep Momma

"When did I last put on deodorant?"  Gosh, why am I so gross?? It is a really great day when I remember both deodorant and brushing my teeth. Don’t judge me if you don’t have a kid.

Thank goodness I have a super supportive husband who is awesome with her...and me. The other day I was so tired and super cranky that Levi packed the little one in the Ergo and took her for a walk and then fed her so I could have 2 hrs of nap time. All during her normal witching hour! He deserves to be nominated for sainthood.  

All the tiredness is so worth it. I find myself just staring at her wondering what she is thinking and if she is happy. I cant believe she is already a month old! Here is to bags under my eyes for the next 18 years and my stinking cute kid!!!

Do Great Things
Linds

April Fools--Lets have a baby!!!

March 31

I felt like I had a dream in the middle of the night where I was having contractions. Maybe it was Gods way of subconsciously preparing me to rock out in labor. Real contractions started at 6 AM. I had no idea if they were real or Braxton hicks because I never had any BH to that point. Levi went to work like any normal day.

I was supposed to have a lunch date with girlfriends at work but decided that it was probably better if I stayed home due to the raging pain in my abdomen.   Around 11 am I figured I should start timing these bad boys out because I was in some type of pain, they were consistent, and I was in full on nesting mode (4 loads of laundry, vacuuming, and doing dishes---say whhhhat??). So I did what any other enginerd would do and I made a spreadsheet that calculated time between contractions, duration, and pain level. Levi had no idea any of this was going down until around 2pm after I had called the Dr. and she told us to come in at 3:30. 

Car Selfie!!! Lets go have a baby!!!

We packed all our little bags into the car-just in case-and went to the Doctors. She said I had progressed since the day before and that we should probably just go to the hospital.  Oh Shit, I’m having a kid. We got to the hospital at 5 after a quick pit stop at Burger King.  I shit you not, Burger King---Which proved to be a bad choice later in the night—Duhhh.

By the time the doctor visited I was still 3 cm but contractions were quicker and heavier. We took some pictures in the adorable hospital gown my mom made me and just sat around, having contractions and watching TV. 

After a couple more hours the doctor came back again and I had progressed to 4 cm.  It was finally time for the epidural.  Hallelujah!! Women who give birth without epidurals are freaking Hulk Hogan status.  Levi thought he was a funny dude taking this picture of me in the middle of a contraction. 

I look pretty happy dont I??

At 11:30pm the doctor came back in and I was 5cm and time for the old water to break.  We were hopeful to have a baby by 6am.

April 1st

At midnight Levi went down for a snack of chili dogs and mac n cheese—the food of all perspective parents don’t ya know?   From midnight to 7am we were able to get a little intermittent sleep broken up by several status checks, nausea (Hellllooo Burger King), epidural refills and general uncomfort.  Just kidding on the 6am baby arrival---by 7am we had been hovering at 9 cm for 3 hours. Whomp. 

The doctor basically said it was up to me whether I wanted to have a C-section or not. Honestly, I’m impatient and was ready for this labor BS to be over and was considering it. However, I had this amazing nurse Kay that said; “No way you are having a c-section!! You can totally have this kid on your own. The babies heart rate is fine, you are fine, there is no need for a major surgery” [I need to write her a thank you note for being awesome] Angel Nurse Kay cranked up my Pitocin and let me be until 11:30am. At that point she called the Doctor, he gave us the go ahead to rock and roll. Wow-we are really doing this-we are going to have a kid-like soon!!! I pushed with Kay and Levi from 11:45-12:20 when she called the doctor (who totally was not in the room at all for any of the good stuff) “Hey come to room 8, we're going to have a baby.”

Aubin Grace Johnson was born at 12:28pm. She weighed 7lb 11.5oz and was 19.75 inches long. Her hair was dark brown and over an inch long. THERE ARE SO MANY BOWS IN HER FUTURE!!! We are totally in love with her and already can’t imagine our lives without her!! 

Our FB announcement

Of course Grandma made Aubin
her own hospital gown to match
her mommas!!

Her first bow

Holy Preciousness

Do Great Things

Linds

Aubin's Cabin Nursery

Somehow, through the shining forces of God himself, I was given the great gift of creativity and the ability to do cool shit and make it look awesome. Out of all the weird “Novak idiosyncrasies” that I received, I am very grateful for this one. Pinterest  is my favorite

If anyone has been with me for more than 5 seconds, you know that I have been looking forward to rocking out Aubin’s nursery since the day we found out we were knocked up. Dear, dear, Levi was hoping for a boy because he wanted to put his damned duck mounts in the little tyke’s room above his bed. Uhh Yeah, sorry bro, not going to happen-there will be no real dead animals in my child’s room. But alas, the “cabin theme” was born. This was our inspiration:

The room is small so I didn’t want to overdo it with a dark color so we chose a pretty Valspar pink color called “LaFonda Dawn” I shit you not, LaFonda Dawn. You best believe we chose is because of its name. three out of the 4 walls were painted LaFonda Dawn. We then went on a mad hunt for her wallpaper and ordered it from Amazon prime and it was at my house in 2 days.

Her furniture came from Buy Buy Baby and we absolutely love it. My favorite part of the Nursery is her deer head. I know people are probably like WTF she has a deer head in her kids nursery? Yeah I do and I really like it. This was also the animals first time in her room so we needed to let them explore. 

Her chair came from Babies R Us and that pimped out pillow was a great find from the Raleigh Flea Market. You just never know what cool stuff you will find there!! The book shelves were made by Levi out of pallets and then stained.

One of the cutest parts of her room is her bow holder. We got a brokeass window frame from the flea market for 10 bucks and re-purposed the heck out of it! We added burlap for the backing and attached ribbons with a staple gun. We added hooks at the bottom to hold headbands. Then I realized that we had more headbands than hooks (ridic I know) so I made a secondary headband holder out of an oatmeal container on top of a cute birch round.

Levi was able to snag a free chandelier from some lady in the neighborhood and we upscaled it to make a super awesome mason jar light fixture. We are still going to add some jazzies to it (think pink diamond beads and what not)

 I just love the deer head and the aged boards with the animal decals on them.  We are getting soooooo close!!!

Baby J and Momma Stats:

How far along? 37.4 weeks

Sleep: ehhh here and there. 

Best moment this week: Getting my first stretch mark. I made it until 17 days out and finally got a God Damned Stretch mark. UGHH

Miss Anything? Bologna

Movement: she is still really high up so she likes to climb my ribs

Workouts: Still trying to kick as much ass as possible.

Food cravings: nothing really this week  

Belly Button: Flat

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy

Looking Forward To: ummm having a kid.

Violet Beauregarde or Stay Puft Marshmallow??

The time has come to revisit this beautiful meme that was used in the blog post Are You Fat or Pregnant. I have finally hit Violet Beauregarde status. I am thinking I have 1-2 weeks until I fall subject to “I will cut you” and then everyone should just not speak to me because I will be cranky.

Up until today I have been feeling awesome about my weight gain (22-25lbs depending on the time of day) and my level of overall bloatedness (is that even a word?). I went to bed yesterday with that feeling of, “Man my feet hurt a bit” but thought it was no big deal because I stood more than normal at work, and I went to spin class. Then I woke up and BOOM my feet and hands were swollen like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

We all know that my fat Novak sausage fingers are already size gigantic so any extra girth to them is absolutely unwelcome. Here is a lil' instagram of Pa Novak, my nephew Clay, and my hand to show you what I am talking about.

So needless to say I was having one of those “Wow, you are getting pretty large and pregnant and your face is pretty damn puffy.” Then, I made the mistake of doing a 4 week to 35 week pic stitch just to add some salt to my wound. Check that out. That my friends is what I call a fake smile. 

I sent that picture with a text that read "Remember when I was skinny and my face wasn’t puffy" to my wonderful friend Sam and she immediately responded with this ditty.

I might need to watch this every day because I was laughing so hard I was crying. I need to suck it up because all in all, I am rocking this pregnancy out and I only have a few more weeks to enjoy it!

I hope everyone is feeling like Cinderella and smelling like pine needles today J

Baby J and Momma Stat

How far along? 35 weeks and ~5.5 lbs which is something called a canary melon

Sleep: I have been waking up around 3 every morning to go pee

Best moment this week: finishing up some decorations for her nursery!! I am so stoked for that blog post!!

Miss Anything? Being comfortable and breathing normal

Movement: She is like a giant snake that has no room to move. Everything is a giant roll instead of kicks

Workouts: I am doing the RTPcrossfit Open at a pretty scaled level. Also, Still spinning on Thursdays and sundays

Food cravings: I have been loving on some ghetto target eggos and strawberries. Did you know they made funfetti eggos? That shit is my jam.
Belly Button: Innie on the right, semi flat on the left

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy

Looking Forward To: Finishing up her nursery

Do great things

Linds

Naming a baby

If this isn’t the most truthful statement, I don’t know what is.

“Do you like this name?” “ Uhhh no, my 2^nd grade, best friends dog was named that.”

Lindsey: Oh LJ If it is a boy can we name him Sawyer? I LOVE the name Sawyer!

Levi: Sorry Dear, but Sawyer Johnson isn’t going to work. Break it down idiot….Saw---Yer—Johnson.”

Lindsey:  Damnit!! Another Dick name!!!

“Hey so and so, I think we have decided on this name.” “Esshhhhhh I don’t like that. What about this name? “….What about I punch you in the nose?

Lindsey: Soo I kinda like that name Gilligan, and we can call him Gill

Levi: You can be the one to explain to our poor child why he comes home every day with his underpants torn and over his head. No on Gilligan. Jesus, Gilligan? Really Linds??

Listen people, get your shit right. I don’t care that your Aunts, second cousins, wife, was a loser. I don’t know her, nor do I give a damn about her. If I want to name my baby that name, I will name my baby that. Also, why is it that now people think they can just spout off at the mouth and say these weird things to us. I mean, we are naming our kid…for the rest of her life. WE are naming her-not you.  If we were thinking of naming her Princess Diamond or something else like Rainbow, Apple, Elsa, or North then yeah sure go for it-let me know I am a whack job. But until then I don’t care about your opinions. And don’t give me weird looks either. Remember- I am the queen of resting bitchy face, I'm pregnant and I will cut you.

Now that that is out of the way, her name is going to be Aubin, something, Johnson. The “something” is a name that is still up in the air. I really love Grace but we will have to see how it all shakes out.

It sounds exactly the way it is spelled so let’s not all over think it. As for the “Where did you get such a unique name question” Levi has always like that name, and at first I really didn’t dig it. Then it just sort of worked…and then it really worked…and then it was her name. I absolutely love it. Her name has totally passed the “yell test” and that is very important. Does the name feel good rolling off your tongue when you are mad…yes, I have put thought into this. She is MY daughter after all.

I can just see her name being called as she runs through the tunnel for her basketball or volleyball games to dominate on your kid.  And nowwwww your starting point guard, number thirtyyy- fivveee, Auubbiiiiinnnnn Johnnnnsonnnnn!!!! Ahhhhh it gives me chills just typing it. She better not suck at sports lol. I may have just jinxed her to be in the band. Sorry Girlfriend.

  

Apparently, when you google it, the name is technically a boy’s name in France and has been increasing in popularity since 2000. It means white, fair, or blonde.  This statement about her name made me laugh so I have to share 

"People with this name tend to be quiet, cooperative, considerate, sympathetic to others, adaptable, balanced and sometimes shy. They are trustworthy, respecting the confidences of others, and make excellent diplomats, mediators and partners. They are often very intuitive. They like detail and order, and often find change worrisome. They may sometimes feel insecure or restless."

I think this one is saying that she will be like her dad because none of this really pertains to me-even a little bit.

Anyway her name is Aubin Johnson and she will be super awesome. And yes, you can call her AJ if you want.

Baby J and Momma Stats:

How far along? 33 weeks—she is getting pretty big and so am I!!!

Sleep: Levi has been sick this week and we both have been crappy sleepers

Best moment this week: doing nursery stuff

Miss Anything? Being able to see my feet when I look down

Movement: When is she not moving??

Workouts: Now that I am home and the ice is gone we are back at it!!

Food cravings: just strawberries, and ho hos. It is also lent so all that I have been wanting is good fat Paczkis. God Bless Levi Johnson because he drove in the ice storm to where we ususally get them, and of course they were out. He ended up finding this gem of a polish bakery right down the street and got us 6 delish donuts filled with happiness. Man, I love him.
Belly Button: Half innie….the left side is starting to pop.  

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy

Looking Forward To: My baby shower tomorrow!!! Eeeeeeeee

 

Working Out While Pregnant

Once I started to feel “normal” again after finding out I was pregnant I spoke to my doctor about my workout routines. At that point I was teaching a Sunday spin class and going to Crossfit regularly. She cleared me to continue to keep doing what I was doing and just monitor my exhaustion and heart rate. So I ran with that, and it has been the best decision that I have made throughout my pregnancy. I have always been someone who wanted to be in the gym so there is no reason what so ever for me to give up something that A) makes me feel good B) is good for little lady C) keeps me healthy.

Throughout these months I have made plenty of changes to my normal routine. After about month 4, I decided teaching was not the best plan for me so I stepped back from that but continued to take classes. I am no longer able to hold a sprint (anything over 160 bpm) because she just borrows so far in my pelvis that she might be digging a hole in my leg. Other than that I am golden during spin. If things feel off, I sit. Its all about listening to your body.

Crossfit has really been such an amazing activity for me throughout this pregnancy. You know the saying “It’s not a crossfit box unless someone is pregnant” well that has definitely been true of CrossfitRTP. There have been 3 of us pregnant and it has been such a relief to have those people work out with me and provide advice. I have loved watching as they progress further and further along in their pregnancy.  With that being said, I have 55 days left to go in the pregnancy and I still feel amazingly strong and completely capable of lifting heavy-ish. I am rocking out Metcons and that makes me super happy.  I have been put on much more restriction as my pregnancy has progressed. My bar path is completely compromised (OBVI) so there is no more snatching or cleaning L Other things that have changed are that my weights have been lowered, there are no more box jumps, and I definitely do receive more attention. I hope to continue with as much intensity as I can up until the very end.  I wish I had some pictures of me working out at the box but there are no mirrors and I am usually too busy sweating my ass off to think about pictures lol

Like I said on FB: I might be pregnant but my ass isn’t. I am so stoked to see what I can do when I am no longer restricted!!!

Some people have been snarky about my workouts during my pregnancy. That’s cool and you can have your own opinion. I have done what was best for me and lil girlfriend and that is all that really matters to me. It is really funny though when people say, OMG you shouldn’t be lifting that box, or you need to sit down because you have been standing for over 30 minutes. I laugh and think, I can lift 5 times that box, over-my-head, and then squat with it.

The stereotypes about being disabled when you are carrying a baby are absolutely crazy to me.  I am still a badass woman, just wanting to be healthy for herself and her kid. The next time you see a pregnant lady in the gym, please don’t stare at her with crazy eyes.  Give her a high five and tell her she is awesome—because she is.

18 weeks at the Teleflex Gym

24 weeks at Teleflex Gym

32 weeks in Tecate MX

Obviously, I still love my Jakes Saloon Shirt from college. 

Baby J and Momma Stats:

How far along? 32 weeks

Sleep: I have been sleeping in the most comfortable hotel beds in the history of beds. SO MANY PILLOWSSSS

Best moment this week: All of the amazing Mexican food I have been able to eat. I was also thrilled to go to the beach, and dig a hole for my belly to sit in, and be able to "lay" on my stomach. It was magical.

Miss Anything? Being super adventurous with my tacos…no brain, or tongue for me this trip!!

Movement: tiny dancer for sure

Workouts: :)

Food cravings: nothing really this week
Belly Button: Innie still

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy

Looking Forward To: BABY SHOWERS!!!!!!! OMG it is time!!

Nesting is No Joke

I have never been the world’s most “clean” person. My car always has at least 7 shoes and gym clothes in it. If my hair is in a braid it is more than likely I haven’t washed it in 2+ days. I have no issue with the fact that my bonus room hasn’t been vacuumed in 4 weeks and my windows haven’t been touched in 6 months. I am totally fine with that, don't judge me. 

Now that tiny Miss Princess Face is fast approaching, I cannot get enough cleaning done. I would be the happiest person on the planet if I could vacuum all day.  The weekends are now a whirlwind of organization and dusting. I feel like we have reorganized the whole upstairs to make room for all of her gear.

We have been working very hard to get her nursery in order lately. The best thing was getting her closet organized. I have 0-6 month clothes in her closet and 6+ in a spare closet. Why does this kid have so many clothes already?? She already has like 15 pairs of shoes…what is that about? I don’t even like shoes but little tiny ones are sooo damn cute.

This organization and constant need to cross things off the “to do list” has even made its way to the workplace. I have my “maternity leave” plan all laid out, the next steps in the project, and exactly what protocols/reports needs to be written. I am lucky enough to have about 15 weeks with my replacement so I have been getting him more and more up to speed every day so that gives me warm fuzzies. I really hope that I can keep up this good attitude for the next 9 weeks and keep getting shit done before she makes her debut!

Baby J and Momma Stats:

How far along? 31 weeks---at the last ultrasound she was a whopping 3 lbs 10 oz and in the 80^th percentile for overall size.  She was a full 1 lb 1 oz bigger than normal---helloooo Novak. OR she is the size of the front wheel of a kids big wheel bike...check it

Sleep: Some tossing and turning but I have been waking up rested

Best moment this week: the Raleigh flea market for sure. We got an old window sill for her bow holder and have possibly picked out a chandelier that I want to put in her room for lighting

Miss Anything? Not really this week

Movement: She has been very distracting lately now that the movements are so pronounced. I feel like I could sit all day and just watch her!! She is crazytown.

Workouts: I have been put on “hey you are getting pretty pregnant now” watch at crossfit. No more box jumps, lower weights all around, and just more overall attention. Thanks friends!! You obviously know that I am bull headed J

Food cravings: Still Strawberries . The other day I had a shitty day at work and just absolutely needed to have mint chocolate chip ice cream and chicken tenders for dinner.  So that’s what we had  to eat!!
Belly Button: Innie still---it’s getting wayyy shallower

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy

Looking Forward To: Last trip to Tecate Mexico on Monday and then flying to Ohio for my baby shower!!! I CANT BELIEVE IT IS BABY SHOWER TIME ALREADY!!!!!