Making Baby Fat Rolls Appear

Keep you baby fed

Breast is best

FED is best

Who the hell cares how your kid eats as long as they eat?

One thing for sure is feeding Mr. Nolan may be one of the most challenging parts of having a newborn. This was all such uncharted territory for me because Aubin ate like she had never seen food before for 17 months. In the world of breast-feeding, 17 months is an eternity. I just expected things would be easy with Nolan.

We started off okay but quickly learned that he would rather shake his head side to side for hours rather than eat. Okay then dude, take a bottle of boob milk because you’re hangryyyy. Phew-he drank from the bottle with ease.

Then we realized that he has some crazy rash happening that was a bit more aggressive than baby acne. First thing to go (via pediatrician) is the milk protein for this mama. Excellent- now he won’t nurse and I can’t eat Cookout Milkshakes. FML. Thankfully, within a week his face cleared up so dairy free is the way to be. 

While all this dairy free shit was happening we tried off an on straight up breastfeeding and finally after some research I got a nipple shield. This little plastic piece is sent from Satan himself. It is flimsy, clear plastic that attracts every prince of dirt/hair/nastiness that your home has to offer. It’s awful but you know what Nolan seemed to do better with it. I however was at my wits end with it. It falls off, it’s always upstairs when you need it down stairs, and who the hell has time to clean that thing in between feedings? Did I mention I don’t know when I brushed my teeth last??

One day one of my good friends came over to drop off dinner for us and she mentioned that she thought he had a tongue tie. Great. So I made an appointment and we were referred to a pediatric ENT. She did the frenulum snip right in the office and I thought we were ready to roll.

Negative.

I gave it the old college try for 2 weeks and finally there in the towel. Bro you can take a bottle. I just can’t - I’m sorry.

So now we rock the bottles and I am a pumping machine. Due to pumping so much I have been able to build up a HUGE stock of milk. I have over 4 GALLONS of no dairy milk and I was able to give over a gallon of frozen milk with dairy to one of my Girlfriends who is having twins. We have so much milk that we had to purchase a garage refrigerator!!

Kids are so weird. Just when you think you know why you’re doing they throw a 90 mile an hour curveball at your head. Here’s to making fat rolls appear on this baby man of mine.

Do Great Things

Linds

The Ease of Having Two Little People

This if a fake title.

I figure that I should write about the differences between Nolan and Aubin because, well there are many. I feel like we are in such different places now with number two than we were with number one. I wouldn't say things are easier, we are just more laid back than we were the first time. I guess we know what to expect, that the baby will be just fine, and his head isn't going to pop off. Here are what I believe are some of the reasons why we are doing well. 

Happy wife happy life right!? That goes for a mom too I suppose. I went back to the gym well before my six weeks (I have since been cleared to workout). Here is where you keep your opinions to yourself. This call was made not to lose the mom body but for my "mental fitness." After everything I went through Postpartum wise with Aubs, I knew “moving” helped my anxiety more than anything. Plus sides: keeping my gym routine, grownup interaction and getting me out of the house enough to NOT go to target every day. My mantra for this maternity leave is "me first." I need to take care of myself, and everything will fall in line--and it has for the most part.

When Target sends you a onesie you take obnoxious pictures 

His cries don’t crush me to my soul like Aubins did. If I come home from the gym and need to take a shower. He can cry for 3 minutes while I clean the funk off. He will be fine.

Life is easier when you say yes than no. You want to have marshmallows and chocolate milk for breakfast? Sounds pretty balanced to me. Have at it sister. Bubble guppies and tracing paper for the millionth time to keep you occupied, sure thing. You wanna wear that outfit-cool-you look homeless so at least let me fix your hair. Don’t get me wrong she does eat protein and reads like LeVar Burton but most things are not worth the fight.

  

Sleep “training” is different/easier/more planned this time around. I try my damnedest to follow a babywise schedule during the day and that carries over into the night. Aubin didn’t sleep through the night until 13 months and my body physically cannot do that this time. Levi and I split the work thwith Nolan (he takes the 11pm dreamfeed and I do the 3 am real feed) which was something that I completely would not let him do last time. Breastfeeding was our time-night or day.

Breastfeeding is SO MUCH HARDER this time. I suspect Nolan has a lip tie and we’re going to get it checked out. I would say 60% of the time he is bottle fed because of ease and the lack of fight I need to put into it. This has allowed my frozen milk stash to grow exponentially because I am super lucky to be a quick pumper that produces a ton. We already have two gallons of milk frozen at the 6 week point. (If you or someone you know is looking to get rid of a stand up garage freezer, please Jesus let me know!) Also, we just realized he has a sensitivity to milk--poor dudes face was all blotched up. Now that I have cut dairy, it is so much better. 

This is a 5 day difference of ingesting milk protein vs none 

Taking help this time is an absolute yes. You want to make/bring us dinner or lunch? Yes. You want to take Murphy for a walk? Yes. You want to babysit? Yes. I love you all and will accept allllll the help. With that being said, I have not gotten around to writing thank you notes and honestly, it’s probably not going to happen at this point (all good Southern women are gasping at the thought, everyone from Ohio is saying Yeah, that makes sense lol) here is your shout out for being amazing. We would probably not have eaten if it was not for you amazing people!! 

The Struzyks, The Brewers, Carol, Cat, Phelicia, The Williams, The O'hares,  The Swinneys, dustin&jess, rachel/Jenn/katie, The Coles, The Griggs, Steph Herrera, The Tornows, Kayla, Kathleen, MB, The McKee’s, Sabrina and Christian, Patricia and Charles, Nay and Sarah, The Rossos, Amy, both mine and Levis Work, Kim and Mech, The Blake’s---Love you allllllll

***If I forgot you please don’t take offense, I’m writing this at 3am with my left hand, and kid eating off me**

Do great things

Lindsey

Nolan's Birth Story -- Fast and Furious

Wouldn't it be nice if this was how babies showed up at your house?? Just skip being pregnant and huge, and you open the door to a sweet little baby muffin?? Yeah, me too.

Feb 3

Contractions started at 6am. Super light no real pain but def something. We laid around until 7:30 and I cuddled Aubin knowing it could be our last morning cuddles with her as an only child.

I sent Levi and Aubin to soccer as normal and began tracking things closer. Contractions were still super light but around 5 mins apart. I called the nurse line and she told me to go in because it was my second child even though I could talk through the contraction. 

Selfie on the way to have a baby

We of course had to make a pit stop at harbor freight because “It’s on the way Linds!!!” Seriously, my husband is a peach right?? This was when I started to notice less contractions. We finished up returning the air compressor and went to the hospital. Now nothing was really happening. I changed into my gown and they tossed the monitors on. We were there a total of 46 minutes and I had 2 contractions. The Doctor came in and after checking me said well, you’re still 3cm and 50% (which is what I was on the previous Monday) so we are going to send you home until things get much stronger. Cool.

We made the walk of shame out of the hospital. I went home, ate a donut and took a nap. Apparently, God wanted to give me the chance to take cute hospital pictures because He knew that shit wasn’t going to happen when I really went into labor.

The hospital gown my mom made
for my deliveries with Aubs and Nolan

Feb 5

Me: What the hell was that thump? Damn dude just KICKED me hard. What time is it?? 3:36, cool 3 more hours to sleep. Wait that wasn’t a kick, that was my water breaking! “Hey Levi, umm my water broke. I’m going to hop in the shower and then straighten my hair.” “Call Holly, have her come over Linds” “Levi, chill out we have time.” Famous last words right there.

I realized that we “didn’t have time” about half way through straightening my hair. My contractions were wicked crazy and shit got REAL stupid fast. To the point that I couldn’t move, talk or do anything during them. Thank God Holly came over right away to stay with Aubin. We left for the hospital around 4:40am as I was kneeling on the front seat, huddled over the back of the chair, yelling to Levi that we could quite possibly have a baby in the car.

We got to the hospital at 5:05 where I threw my ID and insurance card at the registration lady. Please just take me to Labor and Delivery people. Im shaking and making stupid noises and I can’t sit. I don’t have time to “check in” we can do this later you twats.

Around 5:20 I was in my delivery room. I immediately told them to call Anesthesia so I could get an epidural---they laughed at me and said well we need to get this IV in and pump some fluid into you first. Well get on it Karen, I’m dying. The Doctor checked me and I was 5 cm. The IV went in and all I could do was hold on to Levi every single contraction, shake, and sweat. There was SO MUCH SWEAT. The nurse checked me 10 minutes later (because I seemed to be in a LOT of pain) and I was 9 cm. Cool 5cm-9cm in 10 mins---no wonder I want to die.

Finally, around 6am the anesthesiologist came in and began her work. Two sticks to numb the area—okay Linds you got this—get it together Linds. Homegirl can’t put something in your SPINE when you are moving all over. Try 1—nope—try 2 – nope. “Honey, you need to stay still. Please stop shaking” “Fuck off Levi” Try 3—nope.

The anesthesiologist: “Lindsey, I can try one more time, but you HAVE TO stop moving. I keep hitting bone.”

Me: “F it, let’s have a baby now.”

Anesthesiologist: “Good call because this would not take by the time you have this baby anyway.”

I flip back to all fours. (which for some reason was the only semi comfortable position during this whole entire labor) “Lindsey, do you want to lay on your back to do this???” “Fuck off Levi” “Okay we are doing this on all fours.”

No one was ready but me. One contraction, and two pushes later, Nolan Marshall Johnson came into this world at 6:21 am. 2 hours and 45 minutes after my water broke. Fast and Furious with no pain medication. Not at all how we planned it to go but absolutely perfect in its own way.

 

The most perfect meme I have ever read

This kid is the bees knees. He is so squishy and wonderful. I can't even get enough of him. Everyone is in love with him---even Aubin!!

Do great things

Linds