Wait...is Lindsey crying?? There's No Crying in Baseball!!

Growing up I was never been a “crier.” We just didn’t roll like that in the Novak house hold. You got your shit together and you operated under the A League of Their Own quote "There's no crying in baseball!!"

I can remember only 1 time that I cried during high school in front of people, and that was during a basketball game against Oberlin. A very large girl dropped my ass with an elbow to the eye while I was running a fast break. For the record my eye socket was indeed broken, so I had a really good reason to cry the way that I did.  Anyway, I’m not a crier-I don’t like my face being wet, my makeup all jacked up, and I just don’t look pretty when I do it.

Well that has all changed since this baby has taken over my life. I cry about everything. It is almost comical the way my emotions have taken a 180. You name it I have cried about it.

   1.       OMG this stick says we are going to have a baby. Tears---totally legit reason to cry

   2.       The Crossfit Games? Really Linds?? I believe it was a 21-15-9 Complex and the last guy to finish his pull ups and bar muscle ups had been struggling so hard and couldn't get over the bar. He ripped his callouses open and his hand was bleeding everywhere. One of the competitors that had already finished and was cheering him on, pulled his glove off and gave it to him so he could finish. Gooo Teamwork!!!Why the hell am I crying?

   3.       The Today Show. That shit gets me on a daily basis. On Al freaking Roker's birthday they showed a video of him being awesome. He was fat, then he got healthy, then he ran a marathon! Im losing it. What a dude. Al Roker is on my list of people I need to meet because he is legit. I also cried A LOT when Savannah got pregnant, during her baby shower, once she had her baby, and anytime they talk about her. Stupid Today Show making people cry.

   4.       I cried in the McDonalds drive through line because they didn’t have any sweet and sour sauce for my nuggets. You are McDonalds how the hell don’t you have sweet and sour sauce?? I think this is also a legitimate reason to cry as well.

   5.       Random commercials make me weep. The dog ones, the veteran ones, ones about weight loss or eating at the cheesecake factory. I’m a big blubbery mess when I watch TV.

   6.       I cried like Kim Kardashian in my boss’s office. Like totally should have gotten my ass up, went to the bathroom, gave myself a pep talk and then came back, kinda cry. Not one of my proudest moments. The sad thing is, I know I looked exactly like this. ugh.

   7.       Damn Facebook is the worst. It’s either people saying stupid shit to me or people posting heart wrenching articles. Either way I’m crying.

   8.       I cried standing outside of Sam and Brian’s hospital room waiting to see 8 hour old Eli. What a tiny precious muffin.

   9.       Finally, the mother of all waterworks. The article written by Jenny Gerson called “They Should Have Warned Me” If you have 5 minutes and are somewhere that you are cool with crying, read it. You wont be disappointed. 

      I know this is totally not going to stop any time soon once she gets here either. In fact it will get worse I'm sure. I guess I am no longer "Lindsey Effing Novak" as Levi likes to call me when I am acting like a hardass. I have grown a heart and now have a soft pillowly soul. I'm just a little momma who loves to cry :)

Baby J and Momma Stats:

How far along? 29 weeks small cabbage 3 lbs or 17 inch laptop screen per "relatable sizes of the baby" 

Sleep: Really awesome lately

Best moment this week: Levi singing to me and dancing with me in the kitchen today

Miss Anything? Being thinner

Movement: SOOOO MUCH

Workouts: Feeling so awesome lately! I am still able to do some light workouts with boys at lunch and go to crossfit or spin

Food cravings: FISH TACOS!!
Belly Button: Innie still---I must have had a serious innie at the beginning of this.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy

Looking Forward To: Nursery stuff, My Final trip to Tecate (getting REAL fish tacos) and then my baby showers that are coming up!!

Do Great Things!!!
Linds

Did You Really Just Say That to Me??

In lieu of Wednesday's Facebook debacle of off handed pregnancy comments, I figured I needed to bust this post out. I have been biding my time to write on this topic because I felt like I needed to gather enough ammo to really make it worth your while. With my blood pressure at an all-time high I would say the time has come my friends, the time has come.

We will travel through my wonderful pregnancy taking a quick moment to reflect on all the idiots in my life. All of these are indeed true moments that I have encountered.

1.       When will you be having babies or It is almost your turn to have a kid! Let’s get a few things straight right now…You don’t know my story. Maybe, we have been trying for 4 years and can’t conceive. Maybe, I just had a miscarriage, and you’re a dickhead. Maybe, I am pregnant and just don’t want to tell you. Or maybe, I don’t want to have babies. Mind your damn business. If you find yourself wanting to ask someone this, you are an asshole.

2.       Congrats you are pregnant!!!! Were you trying to have a baby?? For the record, Baby J was planned. I am a planner and need to have my life somewhat in order before any big decision is made. I also am a married grown up, who knows the implications and overall cost of a child---i.e. plan that shit out!! But seriously, how many people want to say “Uhh yeah, well we had an accident and now I am knocked up!!” It’s rude. I don’t care how good of friends you are. If you were that good of friends, you would probably know that they were trying to have a baby in the first place. If you're not good friends then it is not your place to ask anyway. Either way don’t ask it’s effed up.

a.       NOTE: Facebook is NEVER-EVER-EVER a place to post this shit. If you think it is, you are most definitely incorrect and should continue reading this blog post…and then reread because you have probably committed a few of these sins before. Here is the little ditty that inspired this blog to be posted today. Before responding to this post on my wall, I played with about 3 different replies that I wanted to say and finally decided this was the most appropriate.

I received over 15 different texts, calls, and concerned emails saying…What the hell? Is this shit serious? Loved your response! I eventually figured out how take the post down but not after the world saw it. Don’t ever do this.

3.       There is this strip club in Ohio where only women over 6 months pregnant dance. This was seriously brought up to me. And NO, I was not in Ohio when it was mentioned, I was in NC, so someone clearly did research on this topic. If you were wondering, I had no response. Like zero things to say. If you know me, you know that never happens in my life. I was stunned just staring at this man.

4.       Saying rude shit to me now that I am pregnant. OMG your life is over. What are you going to do? How are you going to afford a baby? What are your plans for work—will you go back?? You better go on some trips now because you can’t when you have the baby. What are you going to do to get your body back---Are you worried? Listen, we are grown-ups and while we know this will be a very hard adventure at some times, we are prepared to be the best parents that we can.

5.       YOU LOOK HUGE!!! Ahh yes. Eff you to man, Eff you! Have you ever been throat punched by an agitated pregnant woman? You have about 3 seconds to leave. And your mom looks huge-so there.

6.       Are you still pregnant? or Are you sure there isn’t more than one in there? Yep, still pregnant, because I am still at work. People just don’t have a baby and the next day they are back typing up protocols and handling their business. And YES I AM SURE THERE IS ONLY ONE CHILD. There has been one in every ultrasound. This is the equivalent of #5. Watch out, a throat punch is coming in 3..2…1.

7.       You look a lot further along: Again with the giant people jokes!?! Do people forget human decency when they see pregnant people?? I get it that it was about 4 weeks that you didn’t see me around Christmas time but I mean there is something growing inside of me. I'm going to look larger after 4 weeks. 

So I will leave you with some thoughts from Levi and myself.

Baby J and Momma Stats:

How far along? 28 weeks large eggplant or 13 inch man boot per "relatable sizes of the baby" 

Sleep: We changed the comforter on our bed and I have been sleeping like a champ

Best moment this week: LJs parents visiting, celebrating Christmas with them, and having all my friends back me up and flip out over that facebook post J

Miss Anything? cheese

Movement: I have been trying to get some good videos of her moving my stomach but as soon as I press record she knows…she always knows…..

Workouts: I have been feeling so great lately that I have been able to do some easier lunch time workouts while still crossfitting in the evening!!!

Food cravings: same stuff. strawberries
Belly Button: Innie still

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy, until people say dumb shit

Looking Forward To: Hanging up all the clothes she got for Christmas from the Johnsons and getting her nursery in order.

Do great things

Lindsey

2015 Make It Great

The holidays are finally over and life has semi gone back to normal for most people. For me, I just like to complicate things more than they need to be. I am currently on a work trip to Boston to get shit done. I figured that if I already had to travel, I should just make a pit stop and see my family in Ohio. So that is what I did from Jan 1-5th. Ma Novak was super surprised and I got to see Scotties new baby, family, and friends…totally perfect!!! Now, I am in Boston, on my birthday week, feeling like I need to get home and get my “new year” started.

With that being said, it is now that time of the year where everyone reevaluates their lives and wants to be a better person. <<insert fart noise>> I don't need to be a better person (lol--dont judge me you asshole), I really just want to have a healthy kid and be happy in the New Year…nothing too crazy. I figured writing down a list of things for the New Year is always a good plan right??

Mommy Wise:

1. Be a badass mom

2. Breastfeed as long as possible

3. Be patient, kind and loving to Levi
   a. Still go on a date or two every once in a while

   b.Am I a dick to have to make that one of my “goals”?…Man, I suck. Sorry Boss.

4. Instill “We will watch your baby-you go out” with Sam and Brian
   a.Stick to it

Workout Wise:

Crossfit goals:
1. Lose baby weight
2. Thirty unbroken double unders---without peeing if possible
3. Toes to bar, I need to figure that shit out.
4. Back Squat of 240/250, Bench 140/150

Sync

1. Get back into teaching

Levi

1. Be supportive and understanding with Levi’s workout and eating routines.
    a. He has always done it for you, so it’s only right to be in his corner

Work:

1. Enjoy work
   a.Strive to be happy
   b.Make someone laugh throughout the day

2. Close at least 2 New Product Development projects

Real life:

1. Put down my cell phone
2. Get rid of all clothing with rips, holes or tears.
   a.This goes for tank tops that are worn as undershirts that no one sees. Don't be a slob.

3. Take more photos

4. Put our relationship first

5. Be awesome every day---like the Kid President would want.

Baby J and Momma Stats:

How far along? 26.3 weeks --- 13 inch man boot per "relatable sizes of the baby" 

Sleep: I suck at sleeping lately and have been sleeping in the guest bedroom with Murphy-dog so I don't wake up LJ

Best moment this week: Surprise I'm HOMEEEEEEE!! I went home to surprise my mom and dad before a work trip to Boston!!

Miss Anything? Wine. 

Movement: Tiny Dancer

Workouts: I went to LA Fitness when I was home and took a spin class and then worked legs and it was ridiculous. Everyone was staring at me like they had never seen a pregnant lady squatting. Get out of here with that shit globo-gym.

Food cravings: Pa Novak made ribs and sauerkraut on the 1st and I was in heaven
Belly Button: Innie

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy

Looking forward to: Returning from a work trip to Boston and all the Christmas decorations being taken down....without me having to do it

Do Great Things
Linds