Did You Really Just Say That to Me??

In lieu of Wednesday's Facebook debacle of off handed pregnancy comments, I figured I needed to bust this post out. I have been biding my time to write on this topic because I felt like I needed to gather enough ammo to really make it worth your while. With my blood pressure at an all-time high I would say the time has come my friends, the time has come.

We will travel through my wonderful pregnancy taking a quick moment to reflect on all the idiots in my life. All of these are indeed true moments that I have encountered.

1.       When will you be having babies or It is almost your turn to have a kid! Let’s get a few things straight right now…You don’t know my story. Maybe, we have been trying for 4 years and can’t conceive. Maybe, I just had a miscarriage, and you’re a dickhead. Maybe, I am pregnant and just don’t want to tell you. Or maybe, I don’t want to have babies. Mind your damn business. If you find yourself wanting to ask someone this, you are an asshole.

2.       Congrats you are pregnant!!!! Were you trying to have a baby?? For the record, Baby J was planned. I am a planner and need to have my life somewhat in order before any big decision is made. I also am a married grown up, who knows the implications and overall cost of a child---i.e. plan that shit out!! But seriously, how many people want to say “Uhh yeah, well we had an accident and now I am knocked up!!” It’s rude. I don’t care how good of friends you are. If you were that good of friends, you would probably know that they were trying to have a baby in the first place. If you're not good friends then it is not your place to ask anyway. Either way don’t ask it’s effed up.

a.       NOTE: Facebook is NEVER-EVER-EVER a place to post this shit. If you think it is, you are most definitely incorrect and should continue reading this blog post…and then reread because you have probably committed a few of these sins before. Here is the little ditty that inspired this blog to be posted today. Before responding to this post on my wall, I played with about 3 different replies that I wanted to say and finally decided this was the most appropriate.

I received over 15 different texts, calls, and concerned emails saying…What the hell? Is this shit serious? Loved your response! I eventually figured out how take the post down but not after the world saw it. Don’t ever do this.

3.       There is this strip club in Ohio where only women over 6 months pregnant dance. This was seriously brought up to me. And NO, I was not in Ohio when it was mentioned, I was in NC, so someone clearly did research on this topic. If you were wondering, I had no response. Like zero things to say. If you know me, you know that never happens in my life. I was stunned just staring at this man.

4.       Saying rude shit to me now that I am pregnant. OMG your life is over. What are you going to do? How are you going to afford a baby? What are your plans for work—will you go back?? You better go on some trips now because you can’t when you have the baby. What are you going to do to get your body back---Are you worried? Listen, we are grown-ups and while we know this will be a very hard adventure at some times, we are prepared to be the best parents that we can.

5.       YOU LOOK HUGE!!! Ahh yes. Eff you to man, Eff you! Have you ever been throat punched by an agitated pregnant woman? You have about 3 seconds to leave. And your mom looks huge-so there.

6.       Are you still pregnant? or Are you sure there isn’t more than one in there? Yep, still pregnant, because I am still at work. People just don’t have a baby and the next day they are back typing up protocols and handling their business. And YES I AM SURE THERE IS ONLY ONE CHILD. There has been one in every ultrasound. This is the equivalent of #5. Watch out, a throat punch is coming in 3..2…1.

7.       You look a lot further along: Again with the giant people jokes!?! Do people forget human decency when they see pregnant people?? I get it that it was about 4 weeks that you didn’t see me around Christmas time but I mean there is something growing inside of me. I'm going to look larger after 4 weeks. 

So I will leave you with some thoughts from Levi and myself.

Baby J and Momma Stats:

How far along? 28 weeks large eggplant or 13 inch man boot per "relatable sizes of the baby" 

Sleep: We changed the comforter on our bed and I have been sleeping like a champ

Best moment this week: LJs parents visiting, celebrating Christmas with them, and having all my friends back me up and flip out over that facebook post J

Miss Anything? cheese

Movement: I have been trying to get some good videos of her moving my stomach but as soon as I press record she knows…she always knows…..

Workouts: I have been feeling so great lately that I have been able to do some easier lunch time workouts while still crossfitting in the evening!!!

Food cravings: same stuff. strawberries
Belly Button: Innie still

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy, until people say dumb shit

Looking Forward To: Hanging up all the clothes she got for Christmas from the Johnsons and getting her nursery in order.

Do great things

Lindsey