Is Butter A Carb?: April 2015

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

But I am just sooo tired.

First off, I have a child that is FOUR weeks old!! FOUR! How did that happen so fast!!She is the coolest little person ever but dang she is a handful. I now understand what everyone has said about being so exhausted. It’s a weird concept because during the day I can look like a semi-normal human if I need to, but I feel like I have gotten hit by a bus every day.

I am not sure what asshole made up the "sleep when the baby sleeps" rule, but they are stupid. If I did that then what magic fairy is going to show up and do the laundry or the dishes? Yeah, sleep when the baby sleeps-Whatever. Here are some of the funny things that have happened because (A) we have a baby and (B) we wake up every 3 hours and are tired:

Upon getting out of the shower, I stood blankly staring at the wall and thought “Did I even use soap?” Damnit…back in the shower.

“When the heck was the last time the dog ate or went outside?”

”I totally forgot we even had a dog”

During a 3 am feeding, poor little lady had milk squirted in her face for an extended period of time because I had closed my eyes and didn’t realize it until it started gushing all over my hand. She was soaked. Of course I had to laugh and wanted to take a picture (too bad it was too dark) before grabbing a burp cloth. Sorry Aubs.

When my sister Carrie was visiting, she almost used hemorrhoid cream as toothpaste. LOL yessssss!!! I like to think that she was exhausted too…she does have a 10 year old and I have heard this feeling doesnt go away. I should probably move that.

Two nights ago she was fussing and I started rocking her bassinet while still lying in bed with my eyes closed. She quieted down after 10 minutes. I woke up in a panic (5 minutes later Thank God) shaking Levi and asking him if he fed her, or if I fed her. I realized neither of us fed her after a quick check of my rock hard boobs. Sorry that you were hungry and sleep won L

sleep when I sleep Momma

"When did I last put on deodorant?" Gosh, why am I so gross?? It is a really great day when I remember both deodorant and brushing my teeth. Don’t judge me if you don’t have a kid.

Thank goodness I have a super supportive husband who is awesome with her...and me. The other day I was so tired and super cranky that Levi packed the little one in the Ergo and took her for a walk and then fed her so I could have 2 hrs of nap time. All during her normal witching hour! He deserves to be nominated for sainthood.

All the tiredness is so worth it. I find myself just staring at her wondering what she is thinking and if she is happy. I cant believe she is already a month old! Here is to bags under my eyes for the next 18 years and my stinking cute kid!!!

Do Great Things
Linds

Friday, April 10, 2015

April Fools--Lets have a baby!!!

March 31

I felt like I had a dream in the middle of the night where I was having contractions. Maybe it was Gods way of subconsciously preparing me to rock out in labor. Real contractions started at 6 AM. I had no idea if they were real or Braxton hicks because I never had any BH to that point. Levi went to work like any normal day.

I was supposed to have a lunch date with girlfriends at work but decided that it was probably better if I stayed home due to the raging pain in my abdomen. Around 11 am I figured I should start timing these bad boys out because I was in some type of pain, they were consistent, and I was in full on nesting mode (4 loads of laundry, vacuuming, and doing dishes---say whhhhat??). So I did what any other enginerd would do and I made a spreadsheet that calculated time between contractions, duration, and pain level. Levi had no idea any of this was going down until around 2pm after I had called the Dr. and she told us to come in at 3:30.

Car Selfie!!! Lets go have a baby!!!

We packed all our little bags into the car-just in case-and went to the Doctors. She said I had progressed since the day before and that we should probably just go to the hospital. Oh Shit, I’m having a kid. We got to the hospital at 5 after a quick pit stop at Burger King. I shit you not, Burger King---Which proved to be a bad choice later in the night—Duhhh.

By the time the doctor visited I was still 3 cm but contractions were quicker and heavier. We took some pictures in the adorable hospital gown my mom made me and just sat around, having contractions and watching TV.

After a couple more hours the doctor came back again and I had progressed to 4 cm. It was finally time for the epidural. Hallelujah!! Women who give birth without epidurals are freaking Hulk Hogan status. Levi thought he was a funny dude taking this picture of me in the middle of a contraction.

I look pretty happy dont I??

At 11:30pm the doctor came back in and I was 5cm and time for the old water to break. We were hopeful to have a baby by 6am.

April 1st

At midnight Levi went down for a snack of chili dogs and mac n cheese—the food of all perspective parents don’t ya know? From midnight to 7am we were able to get a little intermittent sleep broken up by several status checks, nausea (Hellllooo Burger King), epidural refills and general uncomfort. Just kidding on the 6am baby arrival---by 7am we had been hovering at 9 cm for 3 hours. Whomp.

The doctor basically said it was up to me whether I wanted to have a C-section or not. Honestly, I’m impatient and was ready for this labor BS to be over and was considering it. However, I had this amazing nurse Kay that said; “No way you are having a c-section!! You can totally have this kid on your own. The babies heart rate is fine, you are fine, there is no need for a major surgery” [I need to write her a thank you note for being awesome] Angel Nurse Kay cranked up my Pitocin and let me be until 11:30am. At that point she called the Doctor, he gave us the go ahead to rock and roll. Wow-we are really doing this-we are going to have a kid-like soon!!! I pushed with Kay and Levi from 11:45-12:20 when she called the doctor (who totally was not in the room at all for any of the good stuff) “Hey come to room 8, we're going to have a baby.”

Aubin Grace Johnson was born at 12:28pm. She weighed 7lb 11.5oz and was 19.75 inches long. Her hair was dark brown and over an inch long. THERE ARE SO MANY BOWS IN HER FUTURE!!! We are totally in love with her and already can’t imagine our lives without her!!