Open Letter To One Of My Best Friends As She Has Her First Kid

The countdown is on and your tiny princes will be arriving shortly. I am so excited for you and your entire clan of a family. I wish so much that I could be there to smush those baby cheeks and hold her while you take a shower and breathe or cry. Other than that, good luck. You have a long few months ahead of you!!

Here is my unsolicited advice for you last few weeks or days sans child.

Go on a date. Right now. Go. Out to eat, the movies, shit go anywhere. For a few weeks you won’t feel like doing anything besides sleeping.

Don't forget to take a picture of your belly as close to delivery as possible!!! It is awesome to see the differences 

Stock up on food. And honestly, probably not even real food—I’m talking some grab and eat in 5 seconds kind of food. Might I suggest clif builder bars or speghettios? Both have their pros and cons about them but I will let you decide.

You know that baby room you worked so hard to get finished prior to littles arrival??…You won’t see if for probably 2-3 months when you are okay with your kid sleeping further than 3 mm away from you. Go in there and soak it in right now. Sit in her chair and read “Ill love you forever” and enjoy a moment of silence as fat tears stream down your face.

When people offer to help-let them. When all of our friends come over to see the baby, tell them before they get to hold her, do the dishes or vacuum. Make a list of chores that will need to be done so when people come over and ask how to help it is already to go and you can just delegate. Don’t be ashamed at all. People like to feel needed and you need help. [I’ll send a meal from NC once you get settled]

Prep for having a kid come out of your vagina or belly. Either way is fine and you have “given” birth. Know you will more than likely poop during birth, and well that’s cool because whatever you’re having a damn kid. Either way you have her, you be in pain for the following days. Grab you some granny panties and a bathrobe and enjoy not wearing any pants.

Steal as much shit from the hospital as you can---or ask for it…whatever you ethical people do. Get all the newborn diapers you can snag because that shit is expensive and if you don’t have to buy it. Ask for diaper cream, onesies, nipple cream, anything you can really think of that you would need. TAKE IT ALL.

Whether you breast feed or bottle feed, it is the right way to feed your baby. Don’t let people pressure you.

These last two are my most important J

Get Daddy on the same page as you. There are going to be a ton of people all around you and you will need someone to advocate for you who is in somewhat of a “sane” mind. Make sure he knows when to tell people to GTFO and at the same time is not afraid to ask for help.

Trust your instincts. But don’t be afraid of some Mom/Friend Knowledge!! We love you and are so excited for you to enter into the mom-hood sorority!!! 

Do Great Things and Push Hard!!
Lindsey

PS I totally recommend an epidural :) 

PSS Dont blink because soon she will be a grown up!!

Airplanes and Vacation

So we recently went home to Ohio to celebrate Aubins 1^st birthday with our immediate family. This was Aubins 5^th and 6^th time on an airplane. However, this was the first time she was fully mobile. Needless to say I was pretty worried as the flight to Ohio started at bedtime and the flight back was 2 hrs prior to bedtime, which happens to be her most insane time of the day.

We prepped for the flight in every way that a parent could. Snacks on snacks on snacks were packed. The diaper bag was stocked with God knows what and the Ipad was loaded with crappy baby shows. We even went so far as to get her some cheap headphones so she could listen to the crappy baby show babble. 

For a brief moment I thought about making those little bags of candy and junk for everyone who sat around us, but thought “eh, Im lazy and don’t give a shit about others. Plus, she has just as much right to be on this flight as the adults.” I am really glad I didn’t waste my time and money on them because as we were waiting for all of her junk to come out at the baggage claim, Levi counted TWENTY SEVEN carseats that came out. Twenty freaking seven. Nope, y'all aren't getting any candy from this mom. 

I think the hardest part about traveling/vacation is working to keep the schedule that you have tried so hard to establish. Everyone wants to hang out and visit that it is just so easy to let her stay up or not nap at the normal time. The one thing that I am a “psycho parent” about (other than car seats) is bedtime/naptime. I know how much of an asshole I am when I don’t get to sleep so why on earth would I subject my little to that suckiness. We are very fortunate that my parents have a special nursery for all of their grandkids with everything we could ever need. Even though we were set up for success in every way for bedtimes it was still a giant challenge. She on average went to bed about 30 mins to an hour past her normal bedtime and boy you could tell. Homegirl was earning her “Captain Insano” nickname.

Aubs had her 3^rd birthday celebration and smashed her cake like a little chubby baby would. She also got lots of awesome presents. I would like to take this time to tell everyone THANK YOU for all of her gifts. I have been meaning to write thank you notes but I have misplaced the piece of paper that had them all listed out on it. Sorry. I could probably write a whole blog on writing thank you notes…

We had the best time being home. We fed the giraffes at the zoo, played in the jeep, had a dinner date, and took special pictures with grandma and papa. It was all worth the travel anxiety for sure!! I wish we could come home more often <3

Do great things

Linds

Tiny Princess is a Year Old!!!

One. 365 days. Wow.

Tiny princess is one year old today. My heart is so happy, sad, and proud all at the same time. I have cried 3 times already and I'm sure there are more in me!! To celebrate we recently had smash cake photos taken by Three Regions Photography and they turned out AMAZING!!!

Random Aubin facts

• Born on April fools day
• 8 teeth
• 4 plane rides
• 1 trip to the ER in an ambulance
• Walked at 10.5 months
• Waves and claps like a champ
• Loves Dora, Blaze and the Monster Machine and Blues Clues
• Great cuddler
• Murphy is her favorite puppy dog
• Can say dada, mama and uh-oh

We love you baby muffin!! Thank you for everything you do, making us proud every day, and giving us big smiles! I can't wait to watch you grow up and be an amazing badass little girl! 

Happy birthday Aubin!! We LOVE YOU!!

Here is a recap of this little person over the past year. 

Do Great Things

Lindsey

Walking Fool

The last day of January I came home from teaching boot camp and Levi was giving Aubin a bath. When I came into the bathroom, he looked at her and in a very fatherly voice said, “Aubin, are you going to tell mama what you did today at school?”  ….Great she finally punched a classmate in the face and broke his little baby teeth…I thought. Of course she cant say anything but mama and dada, so Levi continued in his Aubin voice. “Mama, I can stand up now without holding onto anything and I can take two steps by myself.” Shut the front door.

I thought for SURE she would be running in 2 weeks after that. However, we had our run in with the seizure which put her out of commission for about 2 weeks and then she needed about 2 weeks to get “back to normal.” Well, now she is just crazyyyyy about walking. She is off and to the races.

My little cabbagge patch baby doll

I would say she is OFFICIALLY walking now- as in she would rather stand up, and walk rather than crawl. She wont stand still for pictures anymore and she just wants to run. Our lives are going to get real interesting now 

Side note: It was mismatch day at school and yes she is eating a dog toy...take your judgmental asses elsewhere. 

Also---

She is now talking up a storm saying mama, dad, ut oh, and other crazy sounds. For the record her first word was dada BUT she says mama much much more. J She can wave, and blow kisses, and she does the most adorable thing where she grabs your face and tries to make out with you. I’m down for it.

Do Great Things---just like Lady A :)

Lindsey

Aubin? AUBIN?? CALL 911!!

Aubin? Aubin? Call 911.

Those words are burned in my head. They might be the scariest phrase I have ever heard.

Sunday, Aubin had a febrile seizure. The days prior she was not feeling her best by any means. She was tired, cranky and had a terrible cough which led to her throwing up after every feeding. Her temperature ranged from 101-104, and we attributed it to her teething. Around 2pm Levi brought her to me and said, do you think she looks a bit blue?? And she did. My parents were visiting from Ohio, and my dad uses a CPap machine so I went upstairs, let her lay on my chest, and put his CPap in front of her face and she perked right up. Right there I should have known I needed to take her to the emergency room. Then around 7, we decided that it was time to go to the ER because she was just miserable. I was on  the phone with our insurance trying to figure out what hospital was covered (again terrible mom not knowing that!!) and I hear those awful words…Aubin? AUBIN?? CALL 911!!

That was by far the scariest three minutes of my life. I was on the phone with 911, my mom and Levi were with Aubin, and my dad was getting things we needed to go to the hospital. Everyone just knew their roles, kept as calm as possible, and focused on helping Aubs. Watching your child convulse, be unresponsive, and turn blue is absolutely the worst, most helpless feeling in the world. The paramedics showed up and explained she had a Febrile Seizure as a result of her 104 temperature. A baby has these seizures to regulate their temperature if it gets too high. Aubin was strapped into the ambulance and she just looked so scared and upset.

The ride to Duke took forever, or so it seemed. She got sick twice on the way there and her heart rate was over 200 but her oxygen was in the low 80s. Once we were in the emergency department they tried to start an IV on her. She was stuck 4 times before they brought in the ultrasound to get her vein. Awful. Again, holding your child down so someone can make them a pin cushion is just awful. After that she went for a chest xray where we found out she had bacterial pneumonia-which was causing all of her coughing. We were admitted around 1 am.

The next 3 days were full of nurses, doctors, temp and oxygen checks. Aubin was unable to regulate her O2 levels so she needed a nasal cannula and then a tube called a blow by to make sure she was getting enough. She was just not herself and just wanted to cuddle all day and all night long. One of us would sleep with her in our chair while the other slept on the floor of the hospital room. While it wasn’t the most ideal situation, we made the best of it. 

The last day, we were cleared to take her with us to the cafeteria in a wagon and low and behold we ran into our doctor. Aubin was alert and happy when we saw him, and once he saw her, he said that we would be going home that day!

Aubin is doing much better but we are still on alert for any difference in her. We went out and purchased 500 bottles of baby Motrin so we can give it to her at the first sign of a fever. The hardest thing about this is knowing that there is a high possibility that this can happen again. All we can do is be as vigilant and prepared as possible. I wish we would have known about febrile seizures from day one. If I could tell anyone who has kids, please be mindful of temperatures and trust your gut so you don’t know have to go through what we went through. 

Thank you to everyone for the calls, texts, facetimes, emails, visits, food, thoughts and prayers. We truly appreciate all of you and so does little miss!! 

Do Great Things

Linds

Unsolicited Advice to New Moms

Everyone I know is currently knocked up. All I want to do is rub all your bellies and gloat over how beautiful you all look!!! After counting off the top of my head, 10 of my friends are going to be parents in 2016!! Another one of my good friends told me that they were pregnant yesterday and she was asking me some mama questions so I figured, ehh what new mom doesn’t LOVE unsolicited advice??

When people play the Name Game with you, tell them to go to hell. Your kid, your name. This is the one time in your life you get to be mean and not have to have feelings about it.

Buy yourself some maternity clothes asap. Buy them big because you will get big. They are comfy, happy, and make you and tiny look awesome.  I secretly wish I could still wear some of my pants and shirts from when I had my huge belly. When you are done buying clothes, go grab yourself some rainbow chip frosting because you are pregnant and that shit is amazing.

If you can, workout during your pregnancy. I truly believe that is what made the delivery and recovery so easy on me. Walk, run, lift, do what you do just keep moving with the approval of your doctor.

You get one flip out at work. One. Use it wisely. I had a super ugly, Kim Kardashian cry in my bosses office---not my finest moment and I felt like I wasted my flip. You are allowed to have psycho emotions so use it to your advantage.

Do NOT feel bad if you don’t immediately feel head over heels for this tiny alien creation that just popped into your life. It is honestly terrifying, scary and awesome all at the same time. It is a super hard emotion to process. If we are being honest, I needed time due to my Postpartum and it was around the time of Aubins first smile that my heart was stolen.

Magnesium Citrate-Its gross but that first poop after you have pushed a human out of your nethers is just not fun. Mix this devils concoction with some sprite and give yourself 2 hours. It will be the most welcomed diarrhea that you have ever had!! Trust me, you will thank me.

However you decide to feed your kid is the correct way. You will have so many people tell you about this. YOU HAVE TO BREASTFEED, YOU SHOULD USE FORMULA. This is one of those times that you can use your work flip out if necessary. It doesn’t matter who this person is, you are allowed to tell them to F off. Whatever works for you and your baby is the correct way of doing things.

The sooner you do Crying it out/Ferber method/shut the hell up and go to sleep child the more sleep you will get. This was the hardest for me. We tried Ferberizing Aubin at 4 months and 6 months but I just couldn’t do it. Her screaming just pierced my heart and made me want to die. Its like it just rung in my head screaming “You suck and you are a terrible mother, she is going to be messed up and have parent issues when she grows up” UGH. Well apparently my heart has gone cold in the last week because I just needed sleep so badly that we just let her cry one night. I was so frustrated and crabby that I just couldn’t. Cry tiny sister cry. Then cry some more. 25 minutes later she hunkered down and passed out. Well damn that was okay. The next night, 6 minutes. 6. My sleep tracker said I got 7:59 hours of sleep. That is almost 8 hours…of sleep. Praise newborn baby Jesus.

what a creep :)

All you mamas and mamas to be are just so awesome!! Enjoy this because it goes by fast. As with all unsolicited advice, feel free to disregard anything that you have read. Do what you do because it is your kid and you will have mommy instincts. Just love on that muffin and get all the baby sniffs in before they have oreo all over their face and smell like dirt!

Do Great Things and Happy Holidays!!

Lindsey

Come on, Get Down with the Sickness!!!!

I am pretty sure that there is some form of the plague going around. Definitely the black plague to be exact. Everyone in our home has had it, and it is coming back around. My sickness started 5 weeks ago with a beautiful bout of pink eye. I think my system was below par and then wham bam, death. I was absolutely dead in my tracks. I of course went to the doctor and he said, welcome to winter-goodluck!! I asked him for an inhaler because I had a CrossFit competition the next day and was pretty certain I was going to die. (sidenote we would have placed had I not been a loser---sorry Katherine-I couldn’t breathe) 

I thought we had made it out of the woods and only I had gotten down with the sickness, but noooooOOOOO. After two weeks my poor princess got it.

Check out my snot bubble!!!

Not only did she get sick but she had Croup. It was so awful. She barked like a seal being cut by a chainsaw. When babies have Croup it is beneficial for them to breathe cold air to help reduce the inflammation in their lungs. We sat outside and went for plenty of walks in the cold!! 

I cant even begin to tell you how much puke has been spewed on my face, chest, legs, her chair and carpet. Oddly enough, Levi has seemed to come out clean as a whistle on the puke front. Go figure. On top of the Croup, she had a 103.9 fever, an upper respiratory infection, bi-lateral ear infections, is cutting her top two teeth, and is going through a leap. Johnsons apparently go hard.

On top of her being sick for 14 days, I had to leave for a work trip to go to Boston. Levi was awesome and stayed home with her for a whole week because she couldn’t go to daycare. What a trooper he is. Taking care of a healthy baby all day is exhausting, let alone taking care of a sickly one!!

She is finally getting over the mass quantity of crud she has been dealing with but I on the other hand, STILL am jacked up. My ears hurt, I cant breathe out of my nose and I have nasty coughing fits. Here is to Levi staying out of the line of fire and a healthy Christmas for all!!

Do Great Things!!

Linds